Why Are Household Responsibilities Still Seen as a Womans Duty?
Today, my mind is filled with so many thoughts. Thoughts about people I may have hurt, old memories, different personalities, and something that has always bothered me—the way many Indian families raise their sons and daughters differently.
This Friday, I am going to Khatu with my family. My elder sister was supposed to come with us, but she had to cancel the trip because her mother-in-law has pain in her legs and needs someone to look after her.
And that made me wonder…
Why is it usually the daughter-in-law who is expected to give up her plans?
Why is taking care of parents often seen as a daughter-in-law’s responsibility, while the son can continue with his routine without being questioned?
If a mother is unwell, why is it automatically assumed that the daughter-in-law must stay home? Doesn’t the son have responsibilities too? Is earning money considered enough?
These questions may sound simple, but they reflect a much deeper issue.
Why Are Household Responsibilities Still Seen as a Womans Duty
Why Are Household Responsibilities Still Seen as a Womans Duty ( The Question I Was Asked During a Marriage Proposal )
I remember once meeting a family who had come to see me for a marriage proposal.
The boy’s mother asked me,
“Do you want to continue working after marriage?”
I replied, “Yes.”
She smiled and said,
“You can work after marriage, but you will also have to take care of all the household responsibilities. You know how it is. If a man works, it’s okay if he doesn’t help at home. But a woman must manage both.”
That answer stayed with me.
Why do so many people still think this way?
Why is marriage often viewed as a partnership when it comes to sharing happiness, but not when it comes to sharing responsibilities?
Why Are Household Responsibilities Still Seen as a Womans Duty ( Why Can’t Responsibilities Be Shared? )
I am not saying that men should do all the housework.
I am simply asking why basic responsibilities cannot be shared.
Things like:
- Packing your own lunch
- Putting your used dishes in the kitchen
- Helping with small household tasks
- Taking responsibility for your own belongings
These are not difficult things.
A home belongs to both partners, so shouldn’t the responsibility belong to both as well?
Why Are Household Responsibilities Still Seen as a Womans Duty ( Where Does This Thinking Come From? )
I believe a big reason lies in the way many of us are raised.
Many Indian mothers, often without realizing it, teach their sons that household work is not their responsibility.
At the same time, daughters are taught that no matter what happens, they must manage the home.
It doesn’t matter if they are tired.
It doesn’t matter if they are sick.
It doesn’t matter if they are also working a full-time job.
The expectation remains the same.
Why Are Household Responsibilities Still Seen as a Womans Duty ( A Son and a Daughter See Their Mother Differently )
I once read something that stayed with me:
A son often wants a wife like his mother, but a daughter rarely wants a life like her mother’s.
The sentence felt painfully true.
A son may remember how his mother woke up at midnight to prepare food for him.
A daughter often remembers something different.
She remembers her mother working from morning until night.
She remembers her mother eating last.
She remembers her mother skipping meals when there wasn’t enough food.
She remembers her mother quietly sacrificing her own comfort for everyone else’s happiness.
Both children love their mother.
But they witness different parts of her story.
Why Are Household Responsibilities Still Seen as a Womans Duty
Why Are Household Responsibilities Still Seen as a Womans Duty ( Times Are Changing )
Today, many women manage both their careers and their homes.
They attend meetings, handle deadlines, take care of children, support their families, and still carry most of the household responsibilities.
If women can handle both professional and personal responsibilities, then men are equally capable of contributing at home.
Helping at home does not make a man less masculine.
It makes him a responsible partner.
The goal is not to divide work between “men’s duties” and “women’s duties.”
The goal is to build a relationship where both people support each other.
Why Are Household Responsibilities Still Seen as a Womans Duty ( Final Thoughts )
I am not against traditions, and I am not saying that women should not take care of their families.
I simply believe that responsibility should not belong to one person alone.
Marriage should not be about sacrifice from one side and comfort from the other.
A happy family is built when both people understand that the home belongs to both of them.
And if the home belongs to both, then the responsibilities should too.
NOTE:- If you agree with my thoughts, even a little, please let me know in the comment section.
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